Feb 2, 2011

Haih....

What happens when ur dad tells u that he doesn't have money to pay for your university fees???

Well, my mom has to fork out every single cent of her extremely small (and getting even smaller) savings....

I really wish to end this nx 2 years ASAP!!! its nt that i don enjoy life in UTAR, but i want to graduate and work and and fend for myself....

I admit i do not live a life of a person who is poverty-stricken and can still afford the occasional entertainment and good meals but this is bcoz of my mom who makes me feel like the luckiest son in the world.

Money is immaterial to her as long as she is able to keep me happy, she teaches numerous tuition classes after a tiring day in school to earn the extra money.

When i didnt manage to get my PTPTN loan, i thought that i was going to suffer from then on... but she never once failed to get me the things i want, she'll always ask whether i have enuf clothes for CNY even after i have used up the money she gave me and also never rejects when i want to go on a trip with frens.

I hate the fact that i m using her hard-earned money, i feel no joy in getting things for myself or when i get gifts for others bcoz it is not mine. Everytime i spend, an ounce of guilt is added to my heart.....

I hate it when people deduce that i m rich bcoz i hav a car, in fact, i feel shameful, bcoz while others are still cycling i gave up to the challenges and asked her for a car. How can a person be poor when he can still drive a car rite? i know, bcoz that's wat i'll think as well....

All i can do now is ask her to persevere for another 2 years. She has made me the luckiest son in the world for the past 19 years, and in 2 years time i want to make her the luckiest and happiest mom for the rest of her life....

thx for everything....u have been my guidance in the past, my present pillar of strength, and you will be the foundation of everything i do in the future..... =)